Grief Triggers and a Haunted Halloween
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How Halloween Triggers Grief
For those grieving a loved one, any holiday can be difficult, even Halloween.
Planning to participate in Halloween celebrations this year? You may feel like this holiday is more of a “trick” than a “treat.”
Halloween Can Trigger Your Grief
6 Reasons Why Halloween Could be “Tricky” for Some Grievers. And Why Your Grief can be Triggered on this Holiday:
1. Halloween holds traditions for many people, just as other holidays do.
It’s not just a kid’s holiday. Adults also take part in the Halloween dressing up, candy munching, and having an excuse to host or go to a party.
This may bring up memories of the past, when there may have been a cheerful “Happy Halloween” feeling around you. You can ignore this holiday if you feel like it. Or you can try to dust off your costume and give Halloween a try. Your choice. Or dress up as a griever, which will probably scare people!
2. If you are grieving the death of a baby, child, or adolescent, watching the fun activities happening around you may feel like a real trick in your mind.
If the thought of lots of kids at the door gives you the spooks, keep the lights off or leave the house, to avoid the onslaught of children and laughter.
Or, you might want to celebrate with the children just as you would have in the past, to “keep the tradition.” The choices are yours.
3. Grieving children should have the option to celebrate Halloween as they always have, if they want to.
Since most children grieve in spurts and are not necessarily in a constant grief state, opportunities for play and costumes and trick or treating can still be fun experiences that can be continued.
It is perfectly okay to find another adult to handle Halloween with them if you are not up for it.
4. Halloween symbols can be very scary, especially the ones with the death symbolization.
Spirits, ghosts, tombstones, graveyards, skeletons, and other reminders of death are everywhere during October. Adults may find it difficult to look at these symbols in the harmless and playful way they once did.
And, children may ask questions like – “What happens to you after you die?”, “What happens to your body?”, “Are ghosts real?” . They may find these images as spooky as they were meant to be. So, be prepared.
5. A witch on a broomstick.
A witch may remind you of yourself if you’ve been feeling particularly cranky and mean-spirited as you adjust to a “new normal” without your loved one.
If so, you’re not alone.
6. Check in with young children to look for any feelings of fright or sadness.
If you are supporting a young child who is grieving, you may want to check in with them about how they are feeling about Halloween. There may be a lot for them to be scared or sad about.
Here is an honest perspective of what Halloween is like for a young adult whose mother died around Halloween time. It’s from the whatsyourgrief.com website.
Halloween Can Be Fun For Some and Not For Others
Halloween is a really playful holiday. Some are enthusiastic about it and decorate
for months leading up to it, and then, really celebrate it.
If you’re not feeling it this year, don’t worry. Skip it.
Halloween comes around every year, so you have many more chances to celebrate it when you’re in the mood. Grief takes a lot of the joy and enthusiasm out of you, so this might be the year to take a pass on the celebration
Whatever happens this Halloween, whether you’re triggered or not, as always, remember that a griever has permission to do whatever feels right to them.
If you are finding grief “tricky” or your grief is haunting you, grief counseling might benefit you!
Part of my work with clients is guiding them through holidays, traditions (keeping some, and making new ones) and navigating the adjustment to the “new normal,” that is life without a loved one.
