The Physical Effects of Grief: Grief Can Make You Sick
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Can Grief Affect Your Health?
Grief can create physical illness. If you’re grieving the death of a loved one and you find that you’re not feeling well, you’re not just imagining your symptoms.
They are real.
Grief manifests itself in the body in many ways. After the death of a loved one, words like 'heartbroken' or 'hurt' are regularly used to describe feelings about such a loss.
Did you know that 'Heartsarnes', (which means 'grief' in Old English) literally translates as “heart soreness”?
So, it just proves what we already know. Grief is quite often associated with physical pain, in addition to the mental pain that we are familiar with.
Here is a link to an article from PsychCentral that explains the connection between grief and illness.
What Does Grief Do to Your Body?
Some of the ways in which grief can affect your body:
1. An irregular heartbeat
Recent research suggests that grief can really break your heart. The observational study of 88,6000 people, published in the Open Heart journal, found those who lose a spouse or partner are more likely to develop an irregular heartbeat, particularly if they're younger than 60 years of age or the loved one died unexpectedly.
The risk of atrial fibrillation (a quivering heartbeat) was 41% higher among people grieving the death of a partner. The effects were greatest 8-14 days after a death and only eased completely after a year.
2. Decreased immunity
Another piece of recent research in the journal Age and Immunity found that among the elderly, the recent loss of a loved one could leave a person more susceptible to infectious disease. The older mourners (with an average age of 72) were found to have reduced function of the neutrophils, a white blood cell used to fight off infections.
The researchers say that hormonal supplements or similar products could be used to help people at an increased risk of stress, and that a strong network of family and friends are needed to manage the risks.
3. Feelings of anxiety
According to the British Psychological Society, physical ill health is a symptom of grief and can manifest itself in anxiety-like symptoms. In the case of sudden death, physical effects can be related to trauma and stress, such as a churning stomach, a racing heart, shakes, and being hypersensitive to noise. Nightmares are also common, as are weight changes and tiredness.
Check out this article from Harvard Health to learn more about the physical conditions that grief creates in your body:
Harvard Health says this about grief and illness:
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How Can You Heal Your Body as You Heal Your Grief?
Here is What You Can Do to Help Yourself:
Pay attention to your body and your healthfulness or lack of good health. Monitor yourself.
Don’t bottle up your feelings. Cry if you need or want to. Let it out. Scream if you’re angry.
Take time out for yourself. Time to be alone may be necessary.
Be open about the loved one who is deceased. Talk about him/her.
Share memories - both good and those not as good. They all make up the relationship you had with the deceased.
Try to eat as well as you can, to keep your immune system working even while you are stressed and sad.
Try to have a good routine for getting enough sleep.
Try to move around, because inactivity can wreak havoc on your body too.
Try some relaxation techniques to calm your body and mind if you are over-anxious.
The bottom line is that grief symptoms are real and they can hurt.
Check out how moving around and relaxing with yoga can interact with grief:
What Can Help Your Grief?
Photo by Greg Pappas on Unsplash
Rely on doctors and grief counselors.
Don’t hesitate to talk to your primary care doctor about your symptoms. A doctor may have some suggestions that can provide some relief from stomach aches, headaches, and backaches that may arise. In some cases, medication for physical or mental health symptoms may be helpful. In my grief counseling practice, I may occasionally refer a client to a psychiatrist or psychopharmacologist, to discuss the possibility of anti-anxiety or anti-depressant medications, or even sleep aids.
Grief counselors are a helpful (and sometimes necessary) part of healing too. They will bear witness to your grief, give you the space to share positive and negative thoughts, and help you sort through the many feelings and emotions that come with grief. They offer coping tools and strategies to help navigate life without your love one.
When I work with clients, my goal is to help them regain their sense of self, their identity, and gain some control over their “new normal” and their new life without their loved one. Ultimately, clients can move forward in their healing journey and learn to live with the loss. Other professionals, such as clergy, can also be helpful resources.
