“The Phenomenon of Texting a Loved One After They Have Died Is Real”

Grief counselor Jill Cohen explained to Personal Space why that is. She said that “this phenomenon of texting loved ones after they have died is a real one.”

“It is, in a sense, a technology upgrade of the task of writing a letter to a deceased loved one,” she said. “The texting ritual can be seen as a continuation of a routine that the surviving person had with the deceased, so a way to keep up the relationship in a way that makes their loved one seem or feel present to them. It is also an expression of disbelief, as if to suggest that the person has not really died, which is a normal thought that comes with the experience of the death when it is a surprise and an unexpected one.” Cohen said that while it feels helpful in the moment, the urge does eventually go away. “As time goes in and reality sinks in, the hope is that the constant texting or checking in with the deceased person will subside,” she explained.