Can Grievers Take a “Grief-cation”?

griefvacation
Written By Jill S. Cohen, Family Grief Counselor

4 Minute Read

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It’s common for grievers to want to “escape” and get away

Vacations are for everyone!  Grievers, included.

In my grief counseling practice, my clients often express the concern that if they go on vacation after a loved one dies, people might think that they are not grieving their loved one, since they’re choosing to escape to somewhere enjoyable.

If you’re grieving, your first thought might be:

How can I possibly even think of going away while I’m mourning the loss of a loved one?

Do these thoughts match your thoughts?

  • Why would I want to be sad somewhere else?

  • How could I  possibly have a good time?  

  • What would people think of me if I escape my home and mourn my loss somewhere else?

  • Does having fun mean I don’t miss my loved one?

I often suggest to my clients that they can change that thought. Reframe it to look like this:

Vacations are not experiences only for the “happy” people.

They are for ANYONE who would benefit from a new experience, a change of scenery, and a little bit of rest and pampering. 

In fact, a vacation may be just what you need – to take a mini-break from grief.

grieving while on vacation

Photo by Natalya Zaritskaya on Unsplash

Here’s how GRIEVING and VACATIONING can go hand in hand:

  • Change Your Surrounding
    It’s okay to grieve in different surroundings. Changing your environment can lift your mood, can refresh you, and can take you out of your “stuck” zone.

  • New Outlook
    A vacation can give you a fresh outlook on life. It reminds you that there is a whole world happening out there. You’ll see people, who also may have had losses, who are still living and going about their activities in their own way.  It can be reassuring that your life can and will resume when you’re ready.

  • The Scenery
    After all, what can lift a mood better than beautiful scenery? ---from great cathedrals to glaciers, to ocean colors to mountain heights.  It’s almost impossible not to “feel” something, in the midst of it all. Allow yourself to forget, if only for a while, your own sadness.

  • New People.
    Imagine talking to people who don’t know your “story” and don’t look at you as if they don’t know what to say.  Wouldn’t it be a relief to be anonymous for a week or so?  

  • Grieving Gets Lonely
    When you stay for a prolonged period of time in your grief, you begin to close yourself off in unhealthy ways. The longer it stays that way, the harder it is to re-enter your own life again. Being around others can make you feel that you are part of the world again.

  • Grieving Can Get Crowded.
    Sometimes, it’s just too much to have people around constantly. They are helpful. They keep you company. They try to distract you from your sadness and “make it better”.
    But sometimes, you just need to be alone or with strangers.

    A vacation gives you the time to FEEL, THINK, DISCOVER, and MOURN on your own terms. And this is one of the best reasons to go on vacation!

Photo by Julia Caesar on Unsplash

Read About Other Ways to Manage Your Grief HERE!

If you’ve learned only thing from the death of a loved one, it’s this:

LIFE IS TO BE LIVED BECAUSE DEATH CAN COME AT ANY TIME.

You deserve a “grief-cation.” You’ve just been through one of the worst times in your life.

Here are a few interesting articles to read:

 This one is about the psychology about vacationing while grieving.

This one talks about the benefit of traveling, especially solo, after a loss.

Here’s an article from Lonely Planet (publisher of travel guides) about one person’s perspective on how travel helped her cope with her grief.

Would you like more help with your thoughts and feelings as you are grieving?

Set up a time to talk with me about how grief counseling can be beneficial to you.

Jill S. Cohen, Family Grief Counselor
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